


Not Enough Lalnas

by MadDormouse



Category: Minecraft (Video Game), The Yogscast
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-05
Updated: 2014-09-05
Packaged: 2018-02-16 06:03:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,385
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2258550
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MadDormouse/pseuds/MadDormouse
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Lalna has a secret about how he can be with Hole Diggers Inc., the Magic Police, and Flux Buddies all at the same time.  A simple mining expedition could reveal that mystery if the scientist isn't careful.  Or, the perfect premise for a 1940s/50s comedy movie.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Not Enough Lalnas

Vibrant blue energy burst from Lalna's hand. The spell hit the cave wall, smashing open a hole. Broken pieces of stone fell to the scientist's feet. Lalna sighed in exasperation at the sight of yet more stone.  
"Sjin, I thought vinteum ore was supposed to be more common?" he huffed to his fellow Magic Police co-founder.  
"It is, I swear!" the farmer replied.  
"Well we better find some because we need it to make more spells."  
Lalna returned to breaking through the stone with his dig spell. The mining turned out to be very calming, mentally. Lala was lulled him into a relaxed state as he burrowed through the ground. Without realizing, he switched to his more powerful digging spell and aimed it at the ground. All the stone beneath his feet was suddenly destroyed.  
The floor gave way to an underground chasm below. Lalna struggled to find his airsled, but lost it in his panic. The scientist landed in a flowing, underground stream. He swam to the surface coughing.  
"Sjin!" he shouted, but the dark cavern swallowed his scream.  
The current swept him deeper into the depths. The blond reached out and tried grabbing any of the rock outcroppings. One stone protruding out beyond the rest caught Lalna's eye. He strained his arm to reach the outcropping and managed to snag it.  
Lalna crawled up onto the dry cave floor. Water spluttered out of his mouth as he coughed. The scientist scrambled to place down a torch before continuing to cough.  
"Oh, what the hell," he grumbled.  
Lalna pushed himself into a sitting position and rummaged through his pack to make sure he hadn't lost anything. The blond was relieved to find he still had all his equipment and mining resources. Lalna felt against the cave wall, placing torches to light his way. The scientist used the cave wall as a brace until he was far enough away from the water.  
A zombie groaned somewhere farther down the cave. The hair on the back of Lalna's neck bristled at the sound. He pulled the spellbook from his pack and prepared his attacks. Despite the din, the scientist could see the general shape of the cave. He followed along its path, ready to fight.  
Something was now rushing down the corridor towards Lalna. The scientist tensed as the noise approached his current location. He could see a bend in the cave a few feet up ahead. He hesitated placing a torch in case it alerted his oncoming enemy.  
However, whatever was running towards him in the cave was also carrying a light source. Lalna readied his spells as the illumination came closer to the bend in the cavern. The thudding sound of boots filled the passageway. Lalna activated one of his fire spells as the figure rounded the bend.  
The scientist gasped.  
Facing him was not a monster, but himself. Another Lalna stood before him in complete shock, gasping for breath. Before either scientist could say anything, an arrow pierced the other Lalna's chest. The other blond gasped in surprise. The second Lalna crumbled to the ground and disappeared in a cloud of black dust.  
"Ack!" the scientist exclaimed.  
A skeleton rounded the corner and aimed its bow at Lalna. The blond screamed as the monster prepared to fire. He was too shocked to think straight and defend himself. However, before the mob could attack, another arrow blasted through the skeleton's head. The creature disintegrated just like the other Lalna had.  
"Lalna!"  
The scream pierced the darkness. It came from the direction of whomever fired the arrow. Lalna readied his spell book once more. A second light source approached. The scientist inched around the bend to get a better view.  
"Are you dead?!"  
A short, raven-haired woman burst into Lalna's sight.  
"Nanosounds!" he explained, nearly firing off a fire spell.  
Lalna shoved his spell book into his cloak. The shorter adventurer wiped her brow and sighed in relief. Clucking her tongue, Nano rested her bow on her shoulder.  
"You've got to be more careful, mate," she advised. "You almost got killed. This is why you shouldn't go wandering off."  
"Haha, yeah," Lalna said. He eyed the tainted infection covering Nano's arm.  
"And why didn't you answer over your headset?" asked Nano. Her brow furrowed. "And where did you get that weird armor?"  
Lalna's mind blanked. "Uhhhh … the … skeleton dropped … them. Yeah, the skeleton dropped the robes! Sorry, and I must have accidently switched off my headset in the fight."  
He reached up and changed the frequency on his headset to what he hoped was the right channel for Red Panda Base. Lalna suppressed the urge to panic and began planning how to handle the situation.  
"Hey Nano … did you secure the tunnel leading down here? I think you'd better ran back and place some torches just to be sure. I'll light up around here."  
The infected woman nodded her head. "Good plan. Be right back!"  
She dashed back up the way she had come. Grumbling, Lalna fiddled with his headset again. The contraption 'beep'ed and 'boop'ed as he frantically scrolled through the frequencies.  
"Open a channel, damnit," he hissed. "Open authorized channel, code 'livid coffee.'"  
A steady tone repeated in his ear, confirming a secure channel had in fact been activated.  
"This is Lalna, stationed at the Magic Police," the scientist said into the communication device. "We have a breach. I repeat, we have a breach of cover! I need confirmation on status of Red Panda clone release."  
Static filled his ear for a few seconds before a familiar voice replied. "This is Lalna, stationed at Hole Diggers. Has command confirmed the new clone being deployed?"  
"Negative, Lalna. Coms are strangely quiet."  
The other Lalna harrumphed. "Okay, give me your coordinates. I'll see what I can do."  
Lalna read off his location.  
"Uhhh … repeat coordinates?"  
The scientist did. "What's the problem, Lalna?"  
"I think there is indeed a problem. Hold on while I double check …" The voice trailed off.  
"What's the problem?!" Lalna asked, smacking his head against the wall.  
"Hey, Lalna, where are you? Are you alright?" Sjin's voice chirped into his ear.  
"All fine here!" the scientist stammered. "Just doing a little more exploring."  
"Did you need me to come help?"  
"No! I mean, no need to trouble yourself. I'll be back up soon."  
Lalna switched the volume down on his earpiece. The scientist thudded his head against the stone wall. Why was this happening to him? As he smacked his head against the stone, small cracks spread out over the wall. Lalna's eye's widened in surprise.  
'Did I do that?!' he thought.  
At the same time as a small portion of the wall collapsed outwards, Lalna's earpiece began chirping. The new hole nearly went up to Lalna's waist in height. A ginger haired dwarf proudly stepped out and surveyed the tunnel. His eyes widened in surprise.  
"Lalna! What are you doing here?" Honeydew asked. "I was just talking to you via the intercom. And what in the world are you wearing?"  
The scientist was speechless once more. He looked around in vain for something to fix the situation. Lalna considered grabbing a chunk of stone and knocking the dwarf out. Then, he figured he could deal with this catastrophe.  
Lalna twitched as he heard someone approaching from where Nano had been. The scientist's earpiece chirped indicating Nano was trying to speak with him. He mentally vetoed knocking the dwarf unconscious.  
"More monsters are coming!" Lalna hissed at Honeydew.  
He physically pushed the dwarf back into the hole. Lalna had to crouch down and crawl into Honeydew's tunnel. He prodded at his clone's friend to get him moving.  
"What's-ow!-going on?-ow!-Who was-ow!-that?" asked Honeydew.  
"Mobs!" replied Lalna. "Lots of monsters. That's why I came down after you!"  
His earpiece buzzed to life. The Hole Diggers Inc. Lalna chimed into his ear. "Alright, I've overridden your hardware because you keep ignoring me! Honeydew is within your vicinity! I repeat, Honeydew is within your vicinity!"  
Lalna smacked his ear, hoping he opened communications so the other Lalna could hear him talk.  
"You alright there friend?" Honeydew asked. "There aren't flies down here are there? Or Jeffs?!"  
"No, no Jeffs here," the scientist said, prodding the dwarf backwards. "Uhh, Honeydew, just to remind me, what were you doing over here again? 'Cause I've been so busy dealing with other technical … things."  
"I need materials for Dwarfstar Alpha," he said. "You know this. The computer has a lot of things I could use, but I still-"  
Lalna nodded. "Right, right. How silly of me."  
"You idiot, you're endangering all of our lives!" the Hole Diggers Lalna growled in his ear.  
The scientist stopped shuffling and cocked his head to try and hear what was happening back down the tunnel. All he could make out was some voices and a lot of scuffling.  
"Right. Why don't you stay here for the moment," Lalna offered. "I'm going to go back and secure the area."  
Honeydew cocked his head in confusion, but agreed. "Alright. You give me the heads up when it's safe."  
Lalna scurried backwards down the dwarf's tunnel. The scientist kept shuffling until he bumped into something person shaped. He glanced up, realizing he was now out of the dwarf's tunnel.  
"What are you doing?" questioned Sjin, standing over him..  
"I, uh … am doing some, umm, exploring," said Lalna simply. The stress was starting to get to him. He was almost ready to give up and kill all the witnesses. "What … are you doing?" the scientist asked.  
"Coming to rescue you!" exclaimed Sjin.  
The scientist was exasperated. "But I don't need your help, Sjin! I'm fine by myself …"  
Someone was running back down the tunnel from where Nanosounds had gone. Lalna had a pretty good idea who it was. He started scurried back down the small hole on his hands and knees.  
"Sjin, you need to follow me now!"  
"Huh?" his friend asked.  
Just as Lalna reentered the hole, he heard a startled gasp.  
"Sjin! What are you doing here?!" Nanosounds growled.  
The farmer gave an equally, high-pitched squeal of surprise. "Freeze fluxy!"  
"Oh, real mature. So this is where I make my stand against the Magic Police? Well, I guess it's a good thing I'm not alone."  
"Well, neither am I sister!"  
Lalna just banged his head on the tunnel floor waiting for it all to end.  
"Everything alright, Lalna?" asked Honeydew, walking down the tiny hole towards him.  
"Couldn't be better," he grumbled.  
"Good news! I've got confirmation from the Tiddles operative that a new Lalna clone for Red Panda Base is on his way," reported Lalna via the headset. "Just keep everyone busy until he gets there! Orders from the higher up are to keep a lid on our operation at all costs."  
The scientist adjusted his earpiece so he was connected to both Sjin and Nano. "I've got a plan, just don't tell them I'm here! I mean, any more than you already have."  
Honeydew cocked his head in confusion.  
"Now you, Honeydew, I need your help stalling."  
The dwarf chuckled. "Well, if there's one thing I'm good at it's wasting time!"  
"See if you can dig around that way about 100 meters. There's a natural cave that angles to the north," explained Lalna. "Nanosounds is there and she's being attack by … a horde of zombies! Go provide her with cover, while I sneak around the other way and get a drop on the enemy."  
Honeydew nodded, accepting his task. The dwarf twirled and started tunneling at an alarming speed. Lalna eyed his Atomic Disassembler with envy. When he was sure Honeydew was too far away to hear, Lalna switched on his intercom again.  
"Sjin, I've got a plan. Can you make a tactful retreat back the way we came?"  
"Trying to do that now!" the farmer's voice crackled. "But I'm under fire!"  
"What?" Lalna switched channels again. "Nano, what's going on?!"  
"Sjin started shooting firebolts at me! … wait … what's that sound?" Silence filled Lalna's ears until screams filled the cave. The scientist heard a 'THUD' followed by silence again. "Oh, it was just Honeydew."  
"... she hit me on the head …" the dwarf said via the intercom.  
"Good, you two help each other," Lalna instructed. "I'll try and distract Sjin."  
"Careful, he said he's not alone!"  
Lalna smirked at the woman's warning. Peaking out of the dwarf's tunnel, Lalna found the main cavern empty. Burn marks on the wall indicated where Nanosounds must have retreated towards. In the opposite direction, arrows stuck out of the ground indicating where Sjin must have fled. Lalna ran in that direction after his partner.  
"Sjin?" he whispered. "Are you here? I think they've retreated."  
The farmer poked his mustached head around a rock. "You sure?"  
"I've got a visual on one of the Magic Police," Nano's voice reported. "He's a bit far away, but I think I can make the shot."  
Lalna looked around in surprise. He jumped to the floor, rolling behind Sjin's hiding place. An arrow ricocheted off the the boulder and into the darkness.  
"I'm not so sure they have left," Sjin retorted.  
"Lalna! How'd you get behind me?" Nanosound's surprised voice popped into his ear. The scientist could hear his own voice come through the device. Lalna turned off all the frequencies except the secret one used by the Magic Police.  
"Let's make a hasty retreat," the scientist said, dragging Sjin through the cavern. The pair sloshed upwards through the underground stream, looking for the hole Lalna had fallen through.  
"Hey Sjin, today had me thinking. If we're going to police all the magic users we're going to need some back-up."  
Sjin nodded his head. "I agree. But who can we trust? Xephos said he really isn't interested in getting involved and Sips is too busy with his dirt factory. Besides who can we trust as much as we trust each other?"  
"That's a very good point Sjin …" A shadow fell over the scientist's face. "Between you and me … I know of a secret lab that might hold the key to our problem."  
Sjin gave him a questioning look.  
"A way to build up our forces, but with others we can trust as much as ourselves. Let's go to Yog Labs."


End file.
